Ditching the Resolutions: Setting Actionable Goals That Stick for You, Your Family and Your Home

Most New Year’s resolutions are just wishes whispered into the wind, which is why 88% of them are abandoned by the second week of January. In our home, we’ve traded ‘wishing and hoping’ for a battle plan of actionable goals—a shift that moved us from passing each other in the driveway to truly connecting through goal setting for our family and marriage.

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Goals vs. Resolutions: Practical steps for success in the new year.

Every year around this time, the world goes a little crazy with: resolutions, “new year, new me”, vision boards, “my word of the year is…..” bla bla bla.

But did you know, stats show that the second week of January is known as “quitter’s week” because, 88% of people give up on their resolutions in the first two weeks of January.

Honestly, I’ve never really liked the whole resolutions thing. Why? Because resolutions are usually just wishes whispered into the wind. So instead, many years ago my husband and I started setting goals. I think it was around our anniversary (which is in January) when we started with a marriage goal and there was probably a financial goal in there too. Anyway, since then, setting goals has turned into something we try to do each year in a couple key areas of life.

Now, let me be the first to tell you: we don’t do this perfectly. There have been many years where we’ve failed at being consistent, where the goal sheet ended up buried under a pile of homeschool papers or farm receipts.

But we keep plugging away. The years we see success are the ones we follow commit to the plan… So, we know it works and consistency is what wins in this game.

Three Reasons Why Goals Are Important:

Clarity/Focus: Helps define where improvement is needed and gives clear direction for your steps on how to get there.

Accountability: When it’s on paper, you can’t pretend you forgot. When you have a meeting date, you have a deadline.

Motivation:  Small wins create big motivation. And shared goals ensure you are moving in the same direction. You’re working together gaining success as a team, while building trust and connection. I’ve found this to be especially true in marriage.

Why Goals Beat Resolutions (Every Single Time)

Before I ever met my husband and got married, I worked in the Hospitality Industry, as a manager in both a corporate downtown property and a golf and spa resort. That career taught me many skills for my life now with all the hats I wear at home.

I once had a General Manager that would say “Wishing and hoping is not a management strategy!” and that little phrase has always stuck with me.

At the beginning of each year, this same GM would sit each department head down and we’d set goals. Goals for what I would like to see and goals for what he would like to see. And we’d have to write them down. We’d focus on 3 areas: financial/budget, staff management, and guest experience. I was then given the homework of putting together an action plan of how those goals would be accomplished within my department. This goal list would then be posted somewhere for me to see, and us to review quarterly.

How to Stay Consistent with Goals

If It’s Not in Writing It Didn’t Happen

Why were these goals written down, posted, and reviewed? Because, if you just say you want to do something, it’s a dream. If you plan how to do it, it’s a goal.

There’s actually science behind this! Studies consistently show that people who write their goals down are significantly more likely to achieve them than those who just keep them in their heads. Even better? Your odds of success go up even more by posting those goals where you can see and assess them—like on the fridge or the bathroom mirror—it acts as a visual nudge to keep you on track.

The Battle Plan

Facts Don’t Care About Feelings

Before I was a farm-dwelling, homeschooling mama, I spent many hours in meetings where decisions were not made on “feelings” or “vibes.” They were based on facts, graphs, and analysis reports. Over the years I’ve learned this same strategy often applies to the managing areas of the home & family.

When there are heavy topics like debt or parenting to deal with, emotions often cloud our judgment, leading us to “fault fling” instead of problem-solving.

To alleviate this, when you sit down to address an “Area of Need,” try to stick to the facts without the extra layer of emotion. Say, “regardless of how we got here, this is where we are, and now we can move forward together. And here is our plan on how to do it.”

First: Ground Rules

Before you even pull out the pen and paper, you need a framework. If you want to stay a team, you have to play by team rules.

1. Pray: Before you look at a single bank statement or chore chart, hold hands and pray. Pray for wisdom and strength to face the issues, direction on how to solve them, and open hearts to grow through them. “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” (James 1:5)
2. No Accusations: This is not the time to bring up that thing he bought last year. Or the hurtful thing she said three months ago. No fault flinging allowed… doesn’t mean you don’t deal with it. It just means, this is not the time or place to do it.
3. Work as One: Agree to work as one and acknowledge areas of need
4. No Dictators: You must decide on goals and action steps together.
5. Set Specific Dates: You must have a weekly or monthly follow-up meeting. If it’s not on the calendar, it doesn’t exist.

The Strategy: Pick Your Battles (No more than 3!)

The idea is small attainable goals to get started and build momentum!!

One of the biggest mistakes people make is setting too many goals or too lofty of goals. While often good intentioned, it can have the opposite effect creating overwhelm and failure.

I recommend looking at these potential areas and assessing what needs the most attention:

• Personal
• Spiritual
• Marriage
• Financial
• Family/Family Schedule
• Kids/Parenting

For our life we also might add in:

• Homeschool
• Garden
• Farm/property projects
• Business

But the key to success, especially when you are just getting started is to choose only THREE areas… maybe even 1 or 2, if you’re already feeling overwhelmed. You can always come back and add another area later but start small.

So, What Does This Look Like in Real Life

1. Assess what area needs to be addressed!

A couple of years ago, we were feeling completely overwhelmed with our schedules. We were running kids every night to one activity or another. I was feeling completely disconnected from my family. I was making multiple trips to town each day and didn’t have time to give quality efforts to work, homeschooling, meals… the list went on and on.

And the hardest part of it, was that it was all good or important stuff we were doing. Work, appointments, sports, 4H, AWANA, Youth Group, ALL-THE-THINGS.

But after one particular day where I literally passed my husband in the driveway for the second day in a row, gave him a quick rundown through car windows that dinner was left over tacos AGAIN, and then realized I missed a deadline for work… something had to change. Not only was I failing with daily tasks, but I felt defeated as a homemaker for my family.

So, I started praying. Asking for wisdom. And had a sit down with Joel. He agreed, this was a crazy way to live and we started discussing how to solve the problem.

And this is what it looked like…

GOAL: Find peace in our schedule to connect and build relationship.

ACTION:

• Choose one day of the week and cancel all activities for that day… even the good stuff. I canceled all town activities on this day… No work trips. No appointments scheduled. No sports practices and kids even stopped going to AWANAs.
• Make it a set apart “holy” day – No Screens. Slower pace. BREAD BAKING. Nicely prepared dinner with a set table. Candles, napkins, and manners required!
• Grow together – Family devotions.
• Fun Activity – Build your own ice cream bar and board games.

CHECK IN: At the end of the month, Joel and I discussed how this was going and if we wanted to change or tweak anything. We both agreed that it was going well and wanted to continue.

Here’s what we discovered… for Joel, he enjoyed the rabbit trail conversations that came up during devotion time. For me, it specifically gave me the space to focus on my home and family without having to put on other hats. We still had to get school done and I still dealt with the pressing work issues. But having a protected day where I didn’t have to get people out the door or spend a couple hours in front of the computer or on phone calls, gave me the boundaries to focus only on what was lifegiving in our home. For the kids, missing the activities on that night was no big deal.

I’m pretty sure it hasn’t put any of those college scholarships in jeopardy because of it…. and I do think they appreciate though, that I am more available to them rather than frantically pushing to keep a tight schedule.

It has now been 2 years, and we are still doing this. Summers get off kilter, but all seems right in the world again, once we are back into our routine.

Don’t Be a Quitter!

Ultimately, shifting your focus from vague New Year’s resolutions to intentional, written goals can be the difference between “quitter’s week” and real life-change. By narrowing your focus to just a few key areas, inviting God into the process, and committing to consistent check-ins, you move from “wishing and hoping” to a concrete battle plan. Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about the clarity, accountability, and connection that come when you stop dreaming and start doing, one small win at a time.

A Note to the Mama Who Feels Alone

I know some of you are probably reading this and thinking, “That sounds great, but my spouse isn’t on board.”

Sweet friend, I hear you. You cannot nag or manhandle your spouse into goal setting. If you are in a position where you feel like you’re pulling the weight alone, make it a matter of fervent prayer. Ask the Lord to lead you in how to be honorable to Him in the areas you can control. Focus on your personal goals and your spiritual walk.

God sees your heart and your effort. “Let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9)

PSA – Some may find that they need a little more help than what they can manage on their own. In situations like this, maybe find a neutral party like a pastor or mentor who can look at the situation objectively without taking sides and offer some outside wisdom. Or maybe it’s even a bigger issue that needs a professional. Whoever it is that you seek out, make sure they have the same values and “solutions based” goals as you and your spouse.

Also, if you are a mama feeling overwhelmed and need some encouragement, check out this post Mama Burnout: Finding Grace for TODAY.

So, How Bout You??

Do you a have any resolutions that you made for the new year? What are they? I’d love to hear how you will turn those resolutions into goals.

SOME OF MY FAVORITE MOST HELPFUL READS ON THESE TOPICS

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Finances:

Dave Ramsey, Financial Peace Revisited: New Chapters on Marriage, Singles, Kids and Families – This book was key to how I got out of debt after college and how we still manage our finances today.

Creating a Family Culture:

Sally Clarkson, The Lifegiving Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming

Ginny Yurich, 1000 Hours Outside: Activities to Match Screen Time with Green Time

Marriage:

Gary Chapman, The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts